This has been a rough week. Rough in many ways but slowly, the Lord is chipping away at my pride. You see, I want to be a great mom, I desire to be a great wife, I long to be a great friend and on top of all that, I want people to like me!!!! This week there have been many tears as I have struggled to find joy in my parenting and in loving my husband rightly. I have been self focused and fearful. I want GREAT kids but the thought of what it takes to instill values and right behavior is exhausting. I KNOW and believe that it is God alone who saves, so, I am able to rest easy there. Truly, I am not even thinking about that right now, I mean, I do pray for Him to save and do so quickly, but I mean just the day to day. It is SO 24/7. And, to top it off, I am not even sure what I should be doing and not doing. Yes, I have read the books and gone to the classes at church, but just like my kids, I forget.
Today, I was blessed to be able to spend some time with a few friends. One of my little cherubs began to disobey to the point that discipline was necessary and all the while, I was thinking that my new friend must be horrified at what she was seeing and my long time friend must be thanking her lucky stars that hers are all about grown!
You know, I have a friend who is ahead of me in life. But, there are times when she and I can get together and just talk about life and that refreshes me. She has seen my ugliness and the ugliness of my kids. My friend encouraged me today and offered me wise counsel. I also heard my friend say some hard things. Not cruel or harsh....but hard for me to hear because remember what I said, I want everyone to think my kids are great and that I am great!!! :) But, alas this friend knows me and knows I AM many things but great is not one of them. Often when I spend time with her, I walk away refreshed and chewing on different things. Today, I am tired. I am emotionally drained and this was not even that trying of a day. I need a break. And, in Gods kindness, hubby and I are going to go on a date tonight. We need this. We need time away together.
Lord,
Thank you for friends...friends that love and press on. Friends that know me and love me anyway. Thank you that you chip away at pride and that you offer hope. Lord let me put my faith solely in you for my parenting and all that I need for life and godliness. Thank you for date night. Lord, please save my kids. Please grant me wisdom as I learn to parent them and see them as YOURS on loan to me.
In Jesus Name
Amen
2 comments:
Sister: His mercies are new every morning, and I'm trusting you found, on this Friday morning, the peace that comes with that promise! You are a GREAT mom. Your girlies are so blessed (something they won't "get," though, until they're much older). And most things worth doing are HARD. The Father kindly, consistently puts us in those situations that challenge us to lean on Him from minute-to-minute. This being a mom isn't easy for anyone (regardless of how it may look to some!). But you are doing so well, and God is using these trials to ensure your endurance & character! Love you & am praying for you!
And some of us KNOW you are a GREAT mom! Keep doing what you're doing, friend. Remain faithful. God will honor that in your life. I love you! And these years are hard for EVERY mama! Saying a prayer for you tonight.
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