So, sleep has always been a idol of mine. Not only do I WANT it, I feel that I need it in order to properly function. However, over the course of the years, the Lord has slowly been weaning me from my sleep. Why would I begin this post about sleep.....well, as I have been wrestling with anger and what the Lord says about it, I have purposed to get up early to be alone with the Lord and his Word and guess what, it has not been that hard but you know what is funny??? If I wake up at 5, my kids wake up at 5. Hmmmm strange don't you think? And, let me tell you, we do not keep a quiet house so it is not like they can "hear me" and so they wake up. They both have noise machines on in their rooms and I basically sit in a dark room with enough light to read by. Call me crazy, but I think it is a spiritual battle. Because, on Sunday morning, when it is time for Church, I am in their rooms throwing cold water on them to get them out bed!!! ;)
This morning, was no exception. The other mornings of the week, my #1 child was bounding down the hall the minute my feet hit the floor and I gently and sweetly sent her back to her room and she complied so I was able to finish my study......not so much today. (that is a WHOLE other issue) So, discouragement is rising in me. Thoughts like what is the use? Why try to change? If it is always going to be a battle then at least I could sleep a little more and fight a little harder in other ways.....but then, I read this:
Morning and Evening Charles Spurgeon
ps 51:10 Renew a right spirit within me
.....Let thy personal weakness, O christian, be an argument to make thee pray earnestly to thy God for help. Remember David when he felt powerless did not fold his arms or close his lips, but he hastened to the mercy-seat with "renew a right spirit within me." Let not the doctrine that you, unaided , can do nothing, make you sleep; but let it goad in your side to drive you with an awful earnestness to Israel's strong helper. O that you may have grace to plead with God, as though you pleaded for your very life......Be in much prayer, live much upon the word of God; kill the lusts which have driven your Lord from you, be careful to watch over the future uprising of sin. The Lord has his own appointed ways; sit by the wayside and you will be ready when He passes by. Continue in all those blessed ordinances which will foster and nourish your dying graces; and, knowing that all the power must proceed from Him, cease not to cry, Renew a right spirit within me."
Oh Lord, Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit with in me. Cast me not away from your presence Oh Lord, take not your holy spirit from me.....restore unto me the Joy of my salvation and renew a right spirit within me.---amen!