My apologies!

I think I need to change the name of my blog from Joy in the Journey to A grumbler on a Journey! I am sorry to all of you who have had to put up with me over the past few days/weeks....my heart is so wicked. I have not had joy. I have so much to be thankful for but have allowed the busyness of life to get in the way and the worries of the world to suck the joy right out of my life. Lord, most of all, I have sinned against you over and over again. Many of my friends are posting about the 1000 things they are thankful for over a period of time. I am going to post a few thoughts here. Thanks for sticking with me friends and Thanks be to God that His mercies are new every morning.

1. My savior
2. My husband (who is bearing the brunt of most of my ugliness right now)
3. This life growing inside of me
4. My family
5. My friends
6. Good health
7. A job to go to for DH and myself
8. A God honoring church
9. Free access to God's word
10. Clothes on my back
11. Food on my table
12. A roof over my head
13. A soft pillow
14. A wonderful house
15. Forgiveness
16. My sister who although she has heard the story many times, listens graciously anyway again and again.
17. A kind coworker who I have grown to love
18. Animals that think I am a great master..(one day I hope to live up to the person my dogs think I am)
19. A family heirloom baby bed and a beautiful new cradle
20. Most of the bills are paid
There is a quick list of 20.....there are so many more....Lord, help me have a thankful heart and focus on the Truth of Your word and who you are....not my circumstances or my feelings.

The BIG Picture

Okay, I am not a computer person right???? Well, here is the picture of my perfect baby! I know, I know the baby is a sinner...will be born a sinner.....but sure looks perfect to me right now. The ultra sound was AMAZING!!!! Yes, Gina, I figured it out, I got to keep my pants on this time!! The gel was warm too!! An overall great experience. This little love bug was moving his hands all over the place!!! (for ease in discussion, the baby will be referred to as a he)...A few people like Doc, the nurse and the ultra sound tech know the sex, but we are not finding out, and they did a great job keeping it a secret!!! Praise God for this gift of life!!! It also made things even more real for DH...when he saw that little baby moving around, he said "oh my gosh, there is a baby in there"....thank you Lord for a husband who is moved by your love and who is as anxious as I am to see this little one in person!!! Thanks too to all of you who are excited with us and oooh and ahhh at our picture!

the scoop

Okay, here is the scoop...I am going at 2 today for the ultra sound!!! Major excited since we had to reschedule. Trying to stay calm so that my blood pressure will read well. I have documented all the times that I have been taking it and I must say that it is fine.....it just jumps when I get to the office. We DO NOT want to know the sex of the baby and everyone at the office knows this, but,what if it is plain????? Some things you just can't mistake? I will not be devastated by any means, but I hope he/she remains modest and gives us a good look at his/her face and that is all. Please pray. Just feeling a little jittery at the unknown. Already had one ultrasound at 6weeks that required my pants be off.....this one I think is like the ones they show on TV! With the cold jelly stuff and the wand thingy!!! Here's hoping!!! Well, I will update tomorrow on what I find.

ramblings part 2 A quest for More

Have you read "A Quest for More" Paul David Tripp....you should!

I got it back out today and here is what I read:

Forgiveness is War:
This war is fought every day on the turf of my heart. But, I do not fight this war alone. The King, who has welcomed me into his better kingdom, is a warrior king who will continue to fight on my behalf until the last enemy is under his feet. This means there is hope for me even though I lose sight of the big kingdom and regress back into the kingdom of self. There is hope for me even though I would rather fight for 15 seconds of self glory than to give him the glory that actually belongs to him. There is hope for me even though I would rather win an argument than reconcile a relationship. There is hope for me even though I would rather fantasize about vengeance than grant quick forgiveness. There is hope for me even though I am good at focusing on your sin while forgetting my own. there is hope for me because I do not fight for my soul alone. Th King fights for me and everytime I ask for forgiveness, he has won another battle on my behalf.

Thank you Lord, for the encouragement found in this great book!

ramblings

First let me say a big THANK YOU!! to my sister and her husband...I have been feeling the need to prepare the room for baby but as you might imagine, all of my extra rooms are a mess. Things needed to be moved from one room to another so that the things in the baby's room could be arranged. I know I know, there is time, this is what everyone is telling me but, I am ready to move forward a little with a few projects. My sister and Kevin did all the heavy lifting since my bro-in-law is down in his back and I am with child!! The room is far far far from being ready but it is ready enough to get started on the fun stuff like paint and decorations. I am soooo excited. I know the baby doesn't care what his/her room looks like, but I do! I also have been reading a great book by Elisabeth Elliott I can not even recall the name today but it is about christian family and how she grew up in one and how parents shape a lot of what kids think about Christianity. It is great and when I remember the name, I will post it! Yesterday at church, the baby was moving a bit when the choir was singing....I love it! I pray this little one will love music and love the Lord. I have been struggling for the past few days. A l0t of emotion that I am having a hard time understanding. I have not been right in my responses and I have AGAIN allowed fear to gain a grasp on me. Lord, thank you for your love! Thank you for friends who help me remember your love and how you show it to us and how you call us to love others. Thank you that I can trust you for all the seen and unseen. Thank you that before the foundation of the world, you knew me and you knew the exact place and time that you would bring the blessing of parenthood to pass. Thank you that you are equipping me even now to love you more and to handle whatever comes my way. Thank you that you handpicked my husband for me and that you, in your kindness are continuing to woo me and draw me to yourself. Help me Father to be flexible and teachable and a worthy vessel for your honor and glory!

a change in plans

The Lord is faithful... He is continuing to stretch and grow me. (literally and figuratively)! I was supposed to see my baby today via ultra sound, but as it turns out, my car is in the shop and I have had to reschedule. I am healthy and I feel sure the baby is too....but, I really wanted to see!!! I also have been doing this challenge from Revive Our Hearts...it is a 30 day husband encourager...well thank God for His grace and that His mercies are new every morning....I am needing to start fresh every morning!! ugh! Getting really excited about the baby and seem to be getting larger each day as well. I will post an update for you after I get to see the Doc. No new news really....no cravings or anything like that, I guess...I have always loved food and will continue to!! : )

activity abounds

Well, I must confess that I was starting to worry a bit. I had blogged the other day about possibly feeling flutters but I was unsure. I saw my doctor on Wed last week and said that I was ready to feel this baby. He said it would happen in time and man was he right? Just today, I am feeling something that I have not felt before and it is amazing! You all are right who told me about it. It can not even begin to put it into words. I do get to see this little blessing on Thursday and I can not wait. Over the weekend, I had the joy of spending some time with a new baby (3 mo old) and I even got to dress him...I was more nervous than I thought I would be and I cried as I was holding him. Just thinking that this is REALLY happening to me. Oh Lord, please prepare me. I have longed for this day for so long but I discovered that I am a bit fearful. Anyway, I love how I feel right now. It is the neatest thing. Thanks again to all of you who check up on me. I will post about the ultra sound after it is done and by the way, my blood pressure is better...thanks for praying.

please pray

Went to the doctor yesterday and things are looking good except for the area of blood pressure. I really think it is just my nerves whenever I step foot into the Dr.'s office but either way, I am checking it myself eachday for a week and then going back with my findings. If it is not better, then it will be medication. I am trying to be good and desire to not be put on medication. So, if you think about it, would you please pray for me discipline in my eating and that the Lord would help me get this under control? thanks to all of you who check up on me.

Laughter IS the best medicine and ice cream

The Lord has blessed me with so many great friends. Last night I got to meet with 4 of them over coffee....Well, they had coffee, I had cold stone creamery and then tea. We laughed and laughed until our guts hurt and then we shared with each other where the Lord has us right now. I am so thankful to know that I am not walking this journey alone and the Lord uniquely has brought these friends into my life who are at different stages in their walk, in their parenting and in their age !! ha ha!! I know I have sooo much to look forward to in the coming days and years! Girls, thanks for the laughs and for being so transparent. I love you all!

fun fun

Just found out another girl at church is expecting. I am so excited to see what the Lord is doing. I do not really "know" many of the girls at church who are due around the same time as me but I guess the Lord has plans for me to expand my friendships. This is going to be lots of fun.. We are all due around the same time and that should prove interesting for the nursery workers and for all the people planning showers!!! Lord you are good and kind....thank you for the miracle of children. Thank you that even when I was ready to give up, you did not give up on me. Please increase my faith and help my unbelief. Please forgive me for being a fair-weather believer. I want to love you and trust you more and more. By your grace Lord, I know that you will change and grow me. Do with me what you will. I love you Lord!